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Friday, March 17, 2006
HELLO.
i bet from my hello you can tell whether im happy or not. hoho.
basically peiling is joyful now. it's not merely happiness.
it's JOY!
and this joy will not be short-lived. why? because this JOY is in me!
ive got the JOYJOYJOYJOY down in my heart.
where
down in my heart.
where
down in my heart.
ive got the JOYJOYJOYJOY down in my heart
down in my heart today!
hil quite hit the nail on the head.
she said "i think you feel stuck" and bingo. i was going nowhere. all my circles were interlinked so even if i solve one circle i will have to revisit part of the circle because my other circle has that part too. and i had a lot of circles, which was impossible for me by myself.
then she said something about learning how to commit everything to God is the only way. and that sort of woke me up. because all this while ive been trying to evade this, ive been having this urge to commit everything to God. but i decide to shrug it off. because i know it wont be an easy process to commit everything to Him.
hoho i shall say thank God for hil.
so i decided to sit read the bible and pray. to help me to commit everything to Him. and this time i was determined.
and as i always say, "when i am determined, it's my game."
in case you dont know, my determination drives me forward.
WHEN I AM DETERMINED, IT'S MY GAME. ESPECIALLY SINCE IM PLAYING FOR GOD.
then brandon smsed me. and he said "read proverbs 3:5-6. i dont know why but i just had this urge to sms you these verses. lean not on your own understanding. but most importantly acknowledge God, take Him into consideration, put him first in your life and He will make you paths straight."
and it was also pretty much hitting the nail on the head. because i realised that all this time i had been focussing on proverbs 3:5 too much such that was troubling me. but the flipside was that, if i acknowledge Him, He will make my paths straight.
i shall say thank God for brandon too!
at first i wanted to go to the beach but it was like super late. and dark.
later on decided to call jon and jess to see whether they were free to talk to me since it was pretty late in the night. but they decided to come over since aunty and uncle were out on a business trip. so they walked over and we sat at the staircase. my mum was asking me what i was doing, then i looked at her [and according to my sister i looked lost. like uhh okay] and said "mummy. i need it." and somehow she understood so okay!
started talking to them. then jon started naming incidents whereby i committed everything to God and what happened in the end. and incidents when i didnt commit everything to Him and what happened. how he knew about them i dont know. (:
then jon said something about the end actually not being very important and that the process was the important part- how i was taking it. how i felt. how close i was with God. and if i commit everything to Him, it will always be a good ending- it may not seem like it's a good one, but there's always something behind it, and something better.
we prayed first. then i sat there and took out my bible and read.
and i brought my guit out so jon was plucking. plucking rocks! plucking is soothing.
read psalms.
i liked this verse a lot.
psalm 40:1-2
i waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
and joshua.
you can really see God moving among them, God's hand at work. and that He's always there. all you need to do is commit. and yeah...
what i read really gave me a lot of strength. all the while ive been placing things at his feet but slowly taking them back one by one. but this time i was really able to commit everything to God. to place everything at his feet and not take it back.
sang songs with jon later. i love still. (: it never fails to comfort me. from the first time i heard it to my grandpas death till now.
hide me now under your wings
cover me within your mighty hand
when the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with you above the storm
father you are king over the flood
i will be still and know you are God
find rest my soul in Christ alone
know his power in quietness and trust.
he prayed with me later on and then we realised it was close to 6. jess had fallen asleep so he had to piggyback her home.
bleargh i feel so bad. made him stay with him for like 6 hours and now carry his sis home. =/ sorry. and thankyou God for jon! and jess. (:
went home quietly. sat on the sofa and thought for a while. couldnt bear to disturb my sister's sleep so i slept on the sofa. slept for about 1 1/2 hours- cos my mum woke up to prepare breakfast and im a light sleeper.
and here's a cool thing. i slept for only 1 1/2 hours and technically i should be feeling really drained and all but... i feel very refreshed!
and this reminds me of the camp theme we chose.
refresh. renew. regenerate.
psalm 51:10 create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
in the beginning i was afraid of me leading camp since i was feeling so troubled and stuff. but now i have confidence in me leading the camp because God is with me! hohoho.
going to see pearlyn later. now im able to smile and laugh naturally and im back to my old self! x) shall go get her a prezzie later. eeyer. sherlyn and her stupid race. glares. okay not her fault. xD I FEEL LIKE GOING OUT. cant be bothered about homework.
my joy is overflowing.
my joy is overflowing.
my joy is overflowing.
squee!
my girl!: yeah ice cream is happy food. cant believe i spent money to buy haggen dazz for a bunch of monkeys! hoho. should have bought bananas. lol. i also always thought she was dao what. but this year she's so... undao. HOI. it's because i havnt mastered my sign lang fully. you wait and see! pouts
shihui: lol. im nice and sweet and happy? wahh. beams proudly. lol nah it's okay. you couldnt see from where you were sitting anyway. (: and after all NOW IM NOT SPACED OUT. NOW IM FEELING EXTREMELY JOYFUL.
short: lol. =)
bunchofmonkeyfiedhumans: LOL! you guys really made me day.
elissa: twinniebeanie! hoho i dont need cheering up anymore. because here comes peiling! stronger and more powerful! -does the superman thing.
stella: hahahas. it's the same as yours? but your lj... no what! simple is nice. simple is good. i like simple stuff. (: simplicity beats complication hands down.
ruoting: hey dear. i love you too. (: great job leading worship! lol. i throw cheese to make her face smooth she throw salt at me because she's not happy. im so yuan1 wang4 please.
yunxi: you and your tata. tata reminds me of tarre panda! x) hahahas. I LOVE OUR POEMS. i shall include it in the next post. the call one, the puddles vs pacific ocean one, the doodling one! hoho. i think we rock. budding poets.
jan: hey dear. heh. NOT THINKING ANYMORE. BECAUSE IVE LEFT IT ALL IN GOD'S HANDS AND IM NOT TAKING IT BACK. and im sorry i didnt go for shirim bbq. wish i had gone. but i seriously would have killed everything.
dee: heh yeah she's getting discharged this evening. gonna visit her later!
becky: hahhas it's okay to flood my tagboard but dont flood with unconstructive stuff. like -cough some people. lol. dont need to be sorry la! say sorry for what? hahhas never mutilate myself la. self-mutilation and peiling just dont fit together. mr marc was brilliant. like wow. mmm. im glad you enjoyed your first gb camp/retreat! side with me! why you side with her. haiyoh. twinnie and i will definitely win. I AM NOT PO. heh. the way i work is that first i think myself, if i think i sort out some stuff i'll be fine. if i still remain confused it's when i need to talk to someone. BUT NOW THAT IVE COMMITTED EVERYTHING TO GOD. NO WORRIES!
chloe: hey dear! i didnt reply your sms yesterday because i was feeling down. im going to post my wishlist later! together with my beautiful poems. you must appreciate them kay!
THANK YOU LORD.
THANK YOU SO MUCH GOD.
simplicity.
*****
simple facts
peiling
30 march
christian
tnsrgs
